Theme From Cheers: Titus Andronicus’ ironically titled “Theme From Cheers” is a remarkably frank and disgustingly bleak track from an album full of harrowing confessions and pitiful lows. Stuck in a go nowhere town, the protagonist of this vile anthem cries desperately “Give Me A Whiskey” as he contemplates a life wasted in a crushing job, in boring town, with “asshole friends”. Shivers are invariably sent down spines by the track’s hope extinguishing finale:

“Those Dreams Are Lying In The Still Of A Grave,
What The Fuck Were They For Anyway?
So Let It Be On A Stretcher That I Get Carried Away,
What The Fuck Was It For Anyway?

Say It Ain’t So: On the beautifully composed “Say It Ain’t So” Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo highlights the scarring effect that alcohol abuse can have on family members, or in this case, a son. His father’s alcoholism proved so severe that the sight of a solitary bottle in his stepfather’s fridge had the young Rivers fearing the break up of his mother’s newfound stable relationship. Backed by a gorgeous riff and a series of startling shifts in intensity, “Say It Ain’t So” stands as a deftly composed masterpiece of traumatic paranoia.

Here Comes A Regular: Taken from The Replacements’ landmark album Tim, “Here Comes A Regular” tells the story of a life reduced to nothing. Sitting indoors drunk and alone, the track’s protagonist gives up at the first chance he gets. Stuck in a hopelessly nihilistic state where he can’t even summon the willpower to rake the leaves on the grass, let alone get the job or kick the habit.

Tim Westerberg delivers the track with haunting aplomb, supplying two perfect lines that cut right to the heart of the listener: “Am I The Only One Who Feels Ashamed?” and “The Fool Who Wastes His Life, God Rest His Guts”.

That Smell: You’ve got to give it to LynardSkynard, even when facing up to the destructive effects of their own addictions they still deliver a rollicking rocker with a spiralling solo. “That Smell” slickly runs through the band’s every destructive vice. Cocaine, heroin, alcohol; they’ve got every base covered. Fearing for his band mates’ lives Ronnie Van Zandt sublimely captures a shameful lifestyle where “The Smell Of Death Surrounds You” on “That Smell”.

However Much I Booze: The Who By Numbers was Pete Townshend’s attempt at a confessional singer-songwriter LP. It was highlighted by the wirey “However Much I Booze”; a track that saw the guitarist facing up to his addiction and reconciling himself to the fact that alcoholism offered no escape from the responsibilities and hardships of life.

Drunken Lullabies: Okay so time to come clean, while “Drunken Lullabies” does feature guitars, and slamming ones at that, it’s actually driven by a brilliant bouncing banjo line. Still, how could this brilliant ode to drinking and singing generations of bloodshed away not make the list? Flogging Molly offer a simple but enduring message: as long as there are hateful lies and inhumane acts there will be cause for “Drunken Lullabies”.

Whiskey In The Jar: Thin Lizzy? The Grateful Dead? The Dubliners? Metallica? Honestly who cares? Regardless of the band this is one of the finest anthems ever penned with one of the coolest riffs and solos imaginable. A tale of betrayal, swordplay, gunshots, and whiskey that will forever endure.

Moonshiner: Another classic folk song of disputed origin, but this time there’s only one version worth considering. In 1963 Bob Dylan delivered the single finest vocal performance of his career when he recorded this observational lament as part of his acclaimed Basement Tapes. The tack is full of gorgeous lines, but there is something about the way Bob frailly delivers the line “God Bless Those Pretty Women, I Wish They Were Mine/Their Breath Is As Sweet, As The Dew On The Vine” that makes time stand still.

Drinking And Driving: We’ve had plenty of good time rockers and dark tales of self destruction on our countdown, but “Drinking And Driving” by Black Flag offers a new line of attack. Rather than offering a cautionary tale, Henry Rollins simply debases and ridicules every lame excuse the drink driver and alcoholic traditionally hides behind. This brilliant accusatory blast of punk is highlighted by a sardonically repeated chant of “Make Sure To Tell Yourself…You Can Quit, Anytime, You Want”.

Alcohol: Closing out our alcohol soaked retrospective is The Kink’s “Alcohol” taken from their brilliant return to form LP MuswellHillhillies. Ray Davies does what he does best, using his wicked eye for social observation to tell the tale of a urbanite driven to the bottle by the pressure of the office and his fanatically ambitious wife. Employing a woozy off time waltz The Kinks set the stage for Davies’ brown beaten croon to unveil the track’s sad finale: the wife is struck, the floozies abandon the drunkard in the gutter, and the one time socialite is left penniless, “a slave to demon alcohol”.